like sunshine, like air
by Schwerelos
Summary: Sousuke loves Rin. Which is why he never expected he would fall in love with someone else.


Sousuke loves Rin.

He knows this as people know there's oxygen in the air, something you take for granted, which you don't talk about, while being perfectly aware that without it you wouldn't be able to breathe.

Sousuke loves Rin, has loved Rin for as long as he can remember, wouldn't know how to do something else—wouldn't know how _not_ to do it, hasn't ever even thought about it. He loves him and that forms as much part of him as the rest of his own identity.

Which is why he never expected he would fall in love with someone else.

Loving Ai is like a breath of fresh air, filling his own air with energy, strength, and so much sweetness he is surprised he doesn't suffocate under it, but he finds it quite soothing, relaxing. Endearing.

If Rin is his oxygen, Ai became his sunlight. Ai started beaming into his life without Sousuke paying much attention to him, not bothering much with this person Rin apparently had in very high regard, unimpressed with his ability and not interested in knowing him beyond that, not interested much in anyone else besides Rin.

But Ai impressed him, much to his surprise. Surprised him with his determination to keep trying, even when he thought—or rather, noticed—he was quite far from being able to reach the rest of the team. But that never stopped him oh no, Ai was always unstoppable.

But even more than that, he smiled and encouraged others, instead of focusing only on himself. That is something Sousuke failed to understand at first: he believed you shouldn't bother with anybody else when trying to get better because your progress is your own, you depend on yourself; anybody else would be but a distraction. He tried reminding Rin of this as well, but Rin would have none of it. They were a team now and Rin looked out for them all, Ai included. Ai did as well, looked out for Rin too, had looked out for him even when Sousuke wasn't there and Sousuke found himself confused at the lack of jealousy that caused him, rather his heart swelled with gratitude, knowing someone was there for Rin when he couldn't be there before.

And Rin and Ai were a team of their own, their own unity, you could see them flow in almost perfect sync most of the time and Sousuke would've felt jealous, _should've_ felt jealous by all accounts, but wasn't, ever, it never even crossed his heart or mind, rather he felt quite fond at the sight, seeing Rin having apparently found what he was missing, this other person who could perfectly understand him.

(And that had been him once, before, had been in sync with him once upon a time; tried to reconnect once he was back and was surprised to find himself fitting quite well into Rin's rhythm and schedule and it almost felt like they had never been apart, like they'd never been away from each other.)

And yet, all the while, as Sousuke believed he had been focusing on Rin and Rin alone, Ai somehow sneaked a way into his heart. He never noticed, he never had a chance; one moment he had still been sure he didn't care about the boy at all, the next he found himself concerned about him and his well being. Found himself wanting to help him, found himself proud at his progress, found himself wanting to become closer and closer and settling himself at his side besides Rin—not because of Rin, but because of _him_.

Found himself wanting to embrace him and kiss him, more intensely than he ever felt about Rin, because those emotions had been with him forever—he'd always known they were there—but these new invigorating emotions took him unprepared, shook his entire ground and left him feeling vulnerable and the only thing he wanted to do was hold on, hold onto Ai, suddenly understanding why Rin kept him so close, smiled and laughed that way with him, suddenly wanting to keep Ai next to him forever, overwhelmed at all these ideas crossing his mind, when he was sure Ai was Rin's, as Rin was Ai's.

And yet, he didn't mind. Didn't mind as long as he could be with both of them, even when he believed they were together. Would rather share his time with them than not, because why would you choose to live without air, why would you choose to live without sunshine. But more than that, Sousuke noticed they invited him along all the time and he felt his heart swelling with love for both of them to the point of almost forgetting how to breathe, because they were there, there with _him_, and his entire life had taken a turn and what he thought mattered before didn't as much any longer, not as long as he could be with them.

Sousuke loved Rin and loved Ai—and Rin and Ai loved each other, but still they held their hand towards him and smiled and laughed and spent time with him and Sousuke let himself wish—let himself _hope_—that maybe they could love him too.


End file.
